Feel like... CRYING?

Hi. It's Fiffy.

I just got back from school. Just now there was some kind of "gotong-royong" or whatever they call it. Hari ni kitorang dah dapat tau masuk kelas mana and so on. So I got a seat next to Dania, somewhere in the middle (LUCKY) But somehow, I feel quite "lonely". It's not that I don't have any friends cuz I do have plenty of them. But it seems like it isn't going to be as fun and exciting as last year anymore. There are 5 of us who had to be in separate classes and that really is sad.

Maybe it's because that I don't have my two best friends near me. Ika went away and unfortunately Husna and I aren't in the same class. So maybe that's why I feel quite lonely. Not to mention, condolence to Faiz because his best friend which happens to be Hafiz, isn't in the same class as him to. But Faiz is my classmate for THE REST OF 2013!!! (We've been classmates since 3 years ago)

The other "tragic" thing is that our class is kind of ISOLATED. Everyone's classes are like at Block D and ours is at Block E. Serious sedih gila. Rasa terpinggir balik macam masa Form 1 and Form 2 dulu. Husna dapat kelas bawah. Meja kerusi semua baru.. Syok la dia. Haha. Anyway, those stuff doesn't bother me at all. The thing is that, I'm not sure I'm going to enjoy my 2013...

Btw, I'm RECONSIDERING the boarding school if I get it. WISH ME LUCK!

Love,
Fiffy

Awful Dilemma !

Dear.. (whoever is reading this),

I'm in such a terrible dilemma. The time is currently about 2.30 in the morning and I should probably go to bed now. If my mom somehow catch me, still awake at this time, she'll surely punch me in the face till I look like a Chinese! (Not being racist. Just a joke from my friend) There's actually one problem that's stuck in my mind right now.

It's more accurately to be said as a DILEMMA! Actually, I've been longing to go to boarding school since I was 12, which is about 3 years ago. I can't help it that I'm so jealous to see those "boarding school-ers" having an awesome time with their friends tak kira lah in studies or just "aktiviti-aktiviti santai." The thing is, I want to be part of them too.

But...on the other hand, I don't want to leave my friends here, in my current school. It's been three years since I first get in this school and I've made friends with some awesome and very interesting people, here. So, takkan la nak cabut macam tu je kan? I'm very sure that I'll miss my buddies a lot and I probably be homesick kalau pergi SBP (Sekolah Berasrama Penuh) And they might miss me too (harap-harap la). And then, bukannya senang nak say "bye-bye" to Public Speaking competition that I had participated in, for 2 years. dah la next year ada debate lagi. Haish, susah la macam ni.

But then something came to my mind, "Do my friends really going to miss me if I'm gone?" -- "Ada perubahan ke kalau aku keluar sekolah tu? Rasanya diorang lagi seronok kot?" And all sort off negative thoughts just like popped in my mind. So, that's why I'm in an awful dilemma right now. I don't know what to do. Kalau tak dapat SBP, senang la sikit nak buat decision sebab memang tak boleh pergi mana-mana pun, although.. my heart is going to shatter into pieces and I'll probably run out of tears due to crying, weeping, sobbing, etc.

WHAT SHOULD I DO? PLEASE HELP!

Love, 

Fiffy

Mini-dream come true!

Hey yo ! Of course it's me, Fiffy

Guess what day was yesterday? It was actually hari keluar result PMR! To be honest, hours before that memang nervous ya amat! I just kept thinking like.. "What if I got a B?" and all sorts of negative stuff. Biase la. Memang semua candidates pun macam tu.

Anyways, I was really overjoyed, and STILL overjoyed that I got straight As for PMR. Deep down, I don't demand for anything else as presents but only appreciation and compliments from my parents. (Ayat agak pasrah) Tapi my parents nak bagi juga, so accept je la kan. HEHE.

Firstly, I thought the results will be announced around 11 AM so I was just like, bersiap lambat-lambat, sikat rambut lambat-lambat and all that. Right after I wore my clothes, suddenly I got a call from one of my bestie's mom, saying that they're about to announce the result already and I'M STILL IN MY ROOM! Panic jugak la lepas tu, so I rush downstairs and terus masuk kereta. tak sempat nak breakfast pun (lapar gila)

Sampai je dekat sekolah, Fiffy terus masuk dewan. belum sempat nak duduk, my name was called. I was like OMG! Syukur alhamdulillah la dapat straight As. After all of the names are called, which is a total of 31 names, the others had to pick up their results at certain counters at the back of the hall. (Only straight A students je dipanggil) *bangga 5 minit* XD Then, I saw my friends and we were so, ver, extremely happy sebab most of us got straight As. Some of them are Dania, Prishanth, Areena, Vincent and Faiz. (they're some of my besties) The others tu dapat result ok juga, tak teruk pun.That's why I'm happy 

So here's some pics that I cherish the most :)

Me and my beloved mummy

Vincent and I. The happily ever after couple

From the left : Dania, Areena and Me. POWERPUFF GIRLS ! xD

Sweet victory :)

All of my besties! :D

That's all for now. Bye!

Love, 

Fiffy

Fashion O' Fashion

Clothes, shoes, jewelleries... AHH... They're all women's best friends, eh?

I admit that I'm a fashion lover. I love buying all sorts of clothes and especially shoes. I just don't know why I'm attracted to them. Hehe. One year ago, I wasn't a big fan of heels, stilettos and such. But there was a particular day when my father advised me to wear heels instead of flats which is more favorable to me, because I am so short. (bummer) Firstly I was like, "Wah, sedapnya kutuk orang," but then when I rethink of it, I think my father got a point. So, I started buying heels and now, I'm quite obsessed with them. Haha!

Tapi, to be honest, I don't really know how to "style up" ,you know what I mean?  Fiffy ade seorang kawan ni (she's an Iraqi) who have a quite good sense of fashion and also a senior yang pandai "mengstyle-kan dirinya" (It's a HE) :) So, I kind of learn from them la sedikit sebanyak. I personally love pastel colors including warm pink, which is my faourite. Last week, I bought two dresses and a laced sweater which I really loveeee! Both are in pink! Nak panggil Fiffy ni "pinky girl" ke "mabuk pink" ke ape ke, panggil lah, tak kisah pun.

And also, I have a pair of boots yang memang bagi Fiffy, nampak cool and a little extraordinary sebab tak ramai orang suka pakai boots. Yeah I admit that wearing them could feel hot and sweaty sometimes but I love the beige-colored boots! (I bought them in Hong Kong) Hehe. But there's one thing that I kind of hate, that is... TRYING THEM! Of course whenever we want to buy new clothes or shoes, we gotta try'em on first, to make sure it fits, right? Tapi itulah part yang paling Fiffy tak suke. I mean, malas la nak pergi dekat fitting room to and change my outfits and all. Kalau nak kena tunggu queue, lagi la bertambah menyampah! Same goes to trying on shoes.. Kena tunggu salesperson tu ambil kan kasut tu..haih, malasnya nak tunggu.

Actually, tonight I just finished watching a reality show on TV called, Safiyya. It airs every Sunday, 9 PM on TV9 and it has been kind of like  "a must" for me to watch it because it shows some quite awesome and modern styles, specially for Muslimah and Hijabistas like me. Tapi selalu geram gila tengok diorang pakai tudung lawa-lawa. Fiffy sikit pun tak tahu nak pakai tudung belit-belit macam diorang. So.. that's why I wrote this in my blog. Haha! Alright then, gotta go. Bye!

Love,

Fiffy

Pastel colors by Pastelinas. Oh, lawanya! :D

Bright colors. How cheerful

Safiyya
Sundays
 9-10 PM
TV9

Why is it so hard?

Ha.....  *sighing*

Why is it so hard to lose weight and be tall?
In my opinion, one of the most vital secret to lose weight is discipline, which frankly I am lack of. I mean seriously, we gotta be more discipline in our diet and work out plans right? Yang ni, lepas habis exercise, melantak tak ingat dunia. Bila dah habis makan, baru teringat nak menyesal.

Actually I was skinny before (aceh) when I was in primary school. But then, somehow when I stepped into my secondary school years, I started to eat a lot. It's like I couldn't cotrol myself. I still remember that whenever I was feeling down, I would rush to the fridge and find something to eat. (Sekarang pun buat jugak, kadang-kadang)  Maybe because I was under so much pressure in being a secondary school student. Mother kept warning me that I would put on weight and look as fat as a pig if I keep on my habit. But I was a stubborn girl before and every time she said that, I would reply "Mom! It's ok. Makan sikit je pun. Tak kan lah nak gemuk"

Sekarang barulah nak menyesal, menangis tak berlagu. Another problem that I'm facing with right now is HEIGHT PROBLEM ! ! ! My friends usually tease me because of my "shortness" as well as my father! I wouldn't give a damn if they teased me but sometimes, deep down, I feel down because honestly, I am the shortest among my friends. Even junior-junior pun ramai lagi tinggi.

Kalaulah dapat kurus and tinggi macam Asia's Next Top Models tu kan best? (Cewah. Berangan lebih!) OK. I think from now on, I will try to be more discipline.

IF ANYONE HAS ANY TIPS OF LOSING WEIGHT OR CONTROLLING DIET, DO TELL ME! 

Love,
Fiffy

Asia's Next Top Model. Look at their spidery-long legs! I love Jessica and Helena though

Love for Japanese !

Konnichi wa! Watashi wa Fiffy desu!
こんにちは。私の名前Fiffyです
(Hello. My name is Fiffy)-Japanese

Hey hey hey. It's Fiffy here. I'm ACTUALLY blogging from my parents room. Can you guys believe that? Haha. (I bet people don't even give a damn) My feet are freezing cold. You wanna know why I'm posting tonight?

Actually I just want to talk about my new passion. It's Japanese! My lil sister likes Korean and all those KPOP artists and celebs but it's different when it comes to me. I just like the Japanese, its culture, the fashion sense and of course the language. To me, it sounds so cute, the way they pronounce it and all. I also fancy their "habit" or "tradition" (or whatever they call it) of BOWING in front of their guest in terms of respect. It shows that they're polite and they respect people, which is an attitude, WE 'MALAYSIANS' are lacking of.

I like to watch Japanese drama than the Korean because Korean dramas are more modern in certain ways. But, there is one Korean drama that I'm totally obsessed with for the time being which is Cinderella's Stepsister! (Astro HD Channel 392) The story behind all this admiration for Japanese started about few months ago, during the muslim's fasting month. Kan muslims kene bangun awal untuk sahur? So, lepas sahur tu, Fiffy tak tahu nak buat ape. So then I decided to search for any "romantic" drama in YouTube. And then terjumpe lah satu drama ni which is The Sky of Love or in Japanese they say it as Koizora. Lepas satu,satu episod Fiffy tengok so then I fell in love with it. Serious best! (bagi girls yang minat drama romantic la) Memang sedih sangat tengok drama tu and I admit that there were streams of tears flowing from my eyes. HAHA!

And so after that, I keep on browsing for more dramas such as the previous one, mane lah tahu kalau ade drama best-best lagi, kan? And I found the second which is "I give my first love to you" So this drama pun Fiffy dah tengok sampai habis, part by part. Memang teramatlah sedih!

So, sambil-sambil tengok drama-drama ni, I "accidently" admired their fascinating language. So, I Google some Japanese words yang commonly used and tried to memorise some of them. Ala.. daripade tak buat ape-ape cuti sekolah ni, ade jugak bende yang bergune boleh buat kan?

This is "Sky of Love" or Koizora. The first Japanese drama I ever watched and it was truly  romantic  and amazing. MUST WATCH!

This is the second Japanese drama I watched and is also romantic plus super sad. Get a box of tissues if you're watching
this!

This is a scene from "I give my first love to you" The first time the couple met 

This would be the KOREAN drama that I'm currently obsessed with . Even my  friend loves it.. and  it's a HE !  Plus Taechyeon (first guy from the left, is so cute!)

I guess that's all for now. Bye Earthlings!

Love,

Fiffy :)

Happy Birthday, Husna!

Happy birthday to you,

You live in a zoo,

You look like a monkey,

And you smell like one too! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR BFF, HUSNA!

Hahaha. I really love to sing this hilariously disturbing song whenever my best friends are celebrating their birthday. I learnt it from Madagascar I guess :)

Anyways, Husna punye birthday actually December 4th, tapi Fiffy bagi hadiah dekat die on the  next day which was Dec 5th. Ala... Tak salah pun kalau bagi hadiah, belated sikit kan? :D I bought her a nice, peach-pastel colored, sling bag and I'm 100% sure that she loves it..because I love it too. Hehe (taste kitorang lebih kurang) Actually Husna's mom brought us to Sunway Carnival (a boring shopping place) on the same day. Kitorang ingat nak tengok wayang tapi "mase mencemburui" kitorang so, tak jadilah nampaknye. Haha. Anyway, kitorang just jalan-jalan with our two other MOST MISCHIEVOUS friends who happen to be Hafiz and Faiz. Honestly, best gile jalan ngan dua orang ni. But, of course it would be better if the rest are here iaitu Dania, Prishanth, Areena, Ika and perhaps Raihan too. 

Tapi I did something OBVIOUSLY STUPID which then adversely affected me... that is wearing HEELS! Alahai.. bodohnye lah rase. Dah tahu nak pergi jalan banyak-banyak, pegi pakai heels tu buat ape? (tapi sebenarnye kelam kabut sikit pagi tu) So, my feet hurt real bad until I have to buy need pair of flats. Tapi tak rugi sepenuhnye sebab I bought VINCCI'S!! Fiffy nampak 50% so ape tunggu lagi? Redah je lah! Hehehe. Kalau nak dekat year-end-sale nanti lagi la best! (tak sedar yang diri tu dah "broke") Haha.

So, itu je la. Kitorang just pegi jalan-jalan sampai sakit kaki tapi tak buat atau beli ape pun. But I never regret spending even a second of my time with my friends. Although it turned out, not as I planned. So, I just hope that in the future boleh pegi jalan-jalan lagi but maybe this time somewhere yang best sikit and the rest of my buddies can come with.

Okay then. Gotta go now. Bye!
Love,
Fiffy

Allow me to burst!

Dear Diary,

This might sounds rude but I'm going to start it with this... GODDAMN IT! Today is just so stressful. Maybe because my family and I are going to my dad's hometown in Terengganu, which takes a 9-hour drive. It's some bloody hell, isn't it? (I sounded like Ron Weasly, eh?) Honestly saying, although it's quite fun to be there, but there are also cons of going to that hometown of my dad's. Here's why:

1. I don't like the long drive
2. I don't know how to speak with Terengganu dialect
3. I hate when I'm ignored by my OWN FAMILY!
4. I don't have friends who happens to be my age

Besides that, my parents are putting a load on my mind when they are asking me to get all my stuff ready for the so-called holidays, which is going to end this Sunday. Until now, I don't think this "going to Terengganu" thingy is gonna be worth it! 

Second of all, everything is just happening to fast, not giving me even a short break. Just to make it clear, I won't reply any text messages from anyone for the time being, to calm my mind a bit. Well except for my best/close friends. This massive headache I had yesterday might as well gone, but the scar of it in my soul still remains. This would take quite a long time to cure. Now let's just not talk about it okay? 

There's just one thing I want to say, I don't want to keep lies or secrets any longer. (If there is) actually is not even a secret and I didn't lie. I'm just not telling the truth to certain people. And I think it's best for me to be honest. Or else I'm going to regret it in the future, which I certainly want to avoid from happening.

Alright then. Till then, diary.

Love,

Fiffy

My soul needs medication

I should take this if it exist!

Dear Diary,

Actually I don't know what to think right now. I just feel as if my soul is very exhausted and tired. I would like to be "free" again, somehow, like my friends. They're just happy enjoying their life and can do whatever they want to do, without having to keep secrets.. and stuff. I guess it's true of what people say about "this stuff" You know? Sometimes I felt that I've made a fool of myself for letting me dragged into this unrealistic world.

There're just too much conflicts revolving around me. But thank god it happened after the exams, so that I don't have to focus on studies much. Actually I have a friend who's a girl and we called her <insert> because of her annoying behaviour. I don't deny that she's an intelligent girl and one of the top scorers in my school, but she often "brags" about her INTELLIGENCE, which my friends and I found real annoying. But seriously, sometimes I think it'll be okay to be like her. I mean, she concentrates almost 100% in her studies and does not get herself involved in this world (I guess) and look what does that brought her? LOADS OF BENEFITS! I don't say that I want to brag and be such a snob like her, but I'm just extracting the positive values from her, if I ever possibly could.

As much as I want to share this with you, but I'm afraid this information of me expressing myself got into the wrong hands. I think I should just keep this to myself. Anyway, I think that all I want to do now is just sit back, read my novel and have some snack. Yeah I think that's the best way to handle this massive headache. I'm not saying my life is in a misery though but I could use some friendly help. I just can't choose alright! And please don't let me do it. My friends would know what the heck am I talking about this "choosing" stuff. Please don't think negatively, dear diary!

i drove to my mum's clinic to pick up some medicine cuz this major headache is killing me. I don't have any fever, according to my mum who diagnosed my few minutes ago. But then on my way home, my teacher saw me driving a car and for one moment I thought her eyes were going to pop out! Now that's another explanation to give, later on. Haaa.. Perhaps life's "a little" miserable right now. But what the heck, I think I can handle this with some friendly conversation and help.

I should get some rest now, diary. I'll write to you soon, when I'm feeling better.

Love,

Fiffy

R.I.P dear PMR

Dear diary,

     Today, October 15th, is the day where MOST of the Form 3 students will say RIP to PMR. Don’t tell me what PMR is alright? But in case you do not know what it is, it’s actually an “unnecessary” exam for  all 15-year-old Malaysians. Seriously I meanshould they really be making such a huge issue about global warming and struggling on thinking ways on how to sustain the Earth when they are actually wasting tonnes of papers on this exam? No, this is not a joke. We’ll just be losing more and more trees if this keeps on going. (which it will) But it will eventually stop because now the government have a new and “improved” way of evaluating the secondary school students, which is through a “thingy” called PBS. I can’t really understand how it works and absolutely don’t give a damn. No offense though J

     Well, back to what I wanted to say now. I came home today, grinning from ear to ear and was on cloud nine. But I don’t really know exactly why I still don’t feel the “joy” you get it? Anyway, did I mentioned about my friends and I who went to have lunch at KFC? Yeah we did. Even though we still have one last paper to go which is KHB, we felt quite happy walking together and enjoying the meal which includes laughs of joy. My girl friends who joined me were Ika, Dania, Husna and Areena. It was quite amazing. We did plan on going to spend our weekend in Penang too, though. Perhaps go for a movie, have lunch and dinner and maybe go roller-skating too. (I waste most of my time falling though.

     I will definitely come to school tomorrow. Dania told us that she was going to bring a cake and some drinks just for a “minor” celebration. (It’s gonna get noisy) haha! I bet you that we’re going to get scold by a teacher but guess what, who gives a damn? J but unfortunate for a friend of mine, Prishanth  because he still have his last paper tomorrow but it’s going to end early. And he’s quite sick so he can’t get CRAZY as he always was. Hahaha! Dear diary, I wonder what will all of us be doing tomorrow. I don’t doubt that tomorrow’s absentees are going to be numerous. I heard most of my friends who planned, not to come to school tomorrow to express their rebellion or something but honestly, I think being in school is way better where you can chat with friends and laugh all day long, rather than being alone in front of your TV or laptop at home.

     To be honest, there are A LOT of stuff that I’ve been thinking to do after this exam, WAY before it even starts. But now, there are just too much going on in my head that I can’t even choose what my heart desires. But I think I will gradually start on the things that I planned to do for the next few days. Perhaps we all JUST FINISHED the bloody PMR and this freedom is still kind of awkward. Especially for a “friend” of mine which I ain’t going to mention. Actually I’m writing to you right now at 12 in the morning and I feel quite sleepy. But then my mind told me that i might be a waste to sleep early because my friends are probably enjoying their freedom right now. Hahaha! No more burning the midnight oil (for this year) I think I’m going to just talk with my BFF tomorrow and just finish my Harry Potter book Vol.2 –I can’t read much because I have exams! Daa!!  Stop with the laughs or giggles or whatever you’re probably be doing right now!

I think that’s all I can write to you right now, dear diary. I just don’t know what else to say. I promise you that I will keep up to date more often from now on. Have a sweet dream!

(I'LL POST SOME PICS IF MY FRIENDS HAVE SOME, LATER)

Love,

Fiffy  XXX

What a life!

Dear diary,

Hi I'm just back from school. Feeling extra lethargic today although it’s just Friday. Why? Well maybe because my friends and I were scolded by a teacher this morning. Honestly saying, it sort of ruined our “morning cheer mood” you know what I’m saying? But I don’t blame the teacher though because it’s actually our fault for not completing those works he gave few days ago. I thought his period is gonna be at noon and unfortunate for me, it turns out to be this morning. Bummer! Anyways, I’m not here to talk about that today. I’m just here to “complain” about myself. Yeah that’s right. MYSELF.

I don’t know why these days I’m feeling so exhausted and worn out when I get back from school. As if I was running at the field 10 times or something. It truly sucks. I can barely stay up late and burn the midnight oil like I used to do before this. I need to! Or else, I’m going to flunk this major test. (well not exactly flunk) so, do you have any ideas on how to stay awake at night? I know coffee doesn’t work for me. (Dear caffeine: please do your job!) On top of that, I also tried to sleep during the day so that I can stay up late at night and use the time to study. But the result is still negative. I don’t think that method works for me either. But… maybe I’ll just have to sleep a little longer. I’m serious! (Hehe)

Another thing is that there’re just a lot work, worksheets, handouts and etc. given to us the PMR victims. Although I don’t complain about that because I know that we extremely need it. But what I’m just trying to do know is writing to you so I could some sort of release my stress or something. So yeah! J  What’s the most important thing now is to avoid any sort of distraction namely the net, TV and stupid funny videos. (Those are the things I love to do) and I’ve t pay extra attention in class so I’ll always stay in track. Note to self: Come on Fiffy, there’s just one month to go and then I’ll be free!!! Free like a flying bird!!!)

 I guess I’ll have to cut it here for now. Please hope that I’ll still be alive in October. :D

PMR DATE a.k.a. DAY OF DOOM = October 9^th 2012

Yup that's me! xD

Love,

Fiffy

Ramadhan Leaves, Syawal Approaches

Dear Diary,

Firstly, I would like to tell you that I feel so relieved because my PMR trial has just passed. PHEW! That’s a burden off. But I can’t be so excited because there’s another bloody trial next month and the final exam in October. So, my friends and I will get have to study like crazy until we might not remember our own names. Fill our brains with as much knowledge as we can for instance History, Geography etc.

On the other hand, I believe all of the Muslims will be very happy, excited and eager because Eidulfitr’ is just round the corner! It’ll be on this Sunday. I admit that that I am, so!!! So as usual, friends will be talking about the “raya” outfits like shoes, dresses and such. Whereas families will be discussing about what are they gonna eat, where are they gonna go and so on. So diary, I just want to tell you that my raya outfits this year is will be in red, black and floral pink. But the whole family’s theme this year is RED. Yeah that’s right. I’m the one who make the decision! Haha (that sounds kinda cruel, eh?)

We’ll be going to hometown tomorrow and we’re going to stay there for the whole week. But what I’m worried is that my cousins won’t really be socializing with me. Firstly it’s because my age gap with them is quite far. If I ever join their group, I’ll surely be the youngest and they’ll treat me as such. but I ain’t going to let that happen again this year, I’ll show them that I’ve grown up, (well not like an adult!) and I want to follow them when they hangout late at night. Muahaha! Apart from that, I won’t be able to spend the whole week, having fun and going out. I’ve got piles of homework for just one subject. (I’m not gonna say the sub) With pure sarcasm, I say, Thank You SOOO much for the work! (ain’t gonna mention the teacher too) XD

Alright then, I guess I have to help mom to prepare for break fast down there. My mom just ask me to “potong cincau!” walaoweyh!

BYE!  

SALAM EIDUL FITR' 2012

What a jab!!

Dear Diary,

Ouch! my arm is definitely is killing me right now. Why? Well actually, today all of the form 3 students had an injection. Something to do with the tetanus thingy. don't ask me what it is because I definitely have no idea. What I know is that this jab really hurts. But to me, I think that this jab is kind of out of the blue you know. As for all the girls, we had an injection to prevent cervix cancer or something like that. But, the thing is that we were told few weeks before, by a respective teacher. As for this  recent injection, we were just told last week. We didn't got enough time to drill it in our minds that we're gonna have this jab. Some of my friends didn't even have the time to inform their parents about this. Perhaps they just intent to create a surprise for us PMR candidates! -_-

Anyway, it hurts a lot and still hurt. Apart from that, there was a doctor and few nurses who asked us about our health, and we had an eye check. (to make sure our sight is good) Anyway... there's one more thing I would like to tell you and I'm pretty excited about this one. Its....

THE FASTING MONTH OF RAMADHAN AL-MUBARAK!

I'm excited because as this month approaches, it means that we're going to celebrate Eidul Fitr' soon! Awyeah! And I'm really looking forward to that because I bought a really nice red "kebaya" which I'm actually satisfied with.! But the thing is, I still couldn't find the right "hijab" to match with it. I just hope could search for it soon but for now, I don't think so shopping is a good thing to do because every day is just so lethargic and trial exam's round the corner. Besides that, I also like to go to a market called "bazaar Ramadhan" where they sell all kinds of food and beverages! What I'm disappointed with this year is just one thing. That is... There isn't any strawberry ice-blended!! Urgh! Kind of pissed off about that. 

I guess that's all I intent to express, Charmz. Oh yes, and also, I am looking forward to be a nicer girl this month and work my ass off for these DOUBLE trials and big exam. All right then. Bye!

XXX

Plain Jane

Believe in Yourself

Dear Diary,

There are a lot of things going around in my mind lately. But now, I know its time to swipe off everything that’s not related to studying and achieving high marks, until the end of September at least. Lots of “drama” going on and school and to me, I have to hit the pause button for those stuff because the big exam is just round the corner. And the other reason is because I’m getting tired and sick of it. (about friend’s issues and such) It doesn’t benefit anyone and leads to an obvious time wastage.

I was devastated by the recent exam results I got because I don’t really pass them all with flying colors unlike the previous one. I wasn’t mad this time but I’m just really sad and believe it or not, I broke down at school. I just can’t help it. I can’t afford forgiving myself for what just happened. I’m guessing most of this is my own fault for taking it so easily. Well, looking up at couple of my friends who managed to obtain high and good marks, I’m making them as my “motivation” but not idols. I am who I am and I’m not gonna change that. Firstly, to be honest, I was jealous of “those” stuff and I envy them but then, I realized it doesn’t bring any good so I decided to quit doing that. It’s best if I just learn from them and also learn from my mistakes. Just because I fell down, that doesn’t mean I’m just gonna lay on the ground. I’m gonna pull myself back up and get on my feet again. Start the freakin’ engine and start course to “High-Achievement Island” (I know it sounds childish but what the heck!) I will to put my best foot forward and work my ass off. I’m not going to say NEVER. =)

There are times when people tell you that you can’t live your dreams. But this is what I tell you... Never say never! –Justin Bieber

·                 Anyway, congratulations to a senior friend of mine in SMK Bukit Jambul for obtaining the title of national’s best public speaker of 2012 recently. I just got the third in State level but I’m proud of it. J And yes, the best speaker IS from PENANG! (praying to get his spot one day)

Best speakers from each districts of Penang

Top 3 speakers of the state 2012

LOVE,

Fiffy a.k.a. Plain Jane

Dear Diary..Why?

"I can't stand being in a hostel.." The same excuse I've been giving whenever anyone ask the same question. The question is, why won't I stay at the hostel? 

Just to be honest, I don't really have a problem to stay at the hostel (other than the bathroom and meal issues). The only thing that bugs me and I'm afraid of is that the ones who stayed at the hostel refuse to be my friend. I've tried to be humble and friendly towards them, but they just seems... I don't know how to explain it. It's like they've "labeled" me as outsiders and it's impossible for them to make friends with me. I never hate anyone, not even my friends who stay at the hostel. I just wonder why they does that. or, is it actually my own fault? But whenever I tried to be friends, especially in class, they just refuse to give much positive feedback and responses. That puzzles me every time. Do they really CAN'T mix with us, people? Never have in mind saying they're some sort of arrogant people or anything. I seriously don't!

My dad said "I think you should stay at the hostel for few days." But then, I would immediately let out a thunderous scream, refusing to be on the same page as my dad's. Want to know the thing I'm afraid the most before the bathroom and meal issues? It's that I would have not even ONE SINGLE friend. Well, my BFFs seems to get along with them pretty well. Although I hate seeing myself getting left out, most of the time. NO LIE! (Then when I say this, they would apologize then continue doing the same thing after couple days)

I try not to care and bear in mind the word "Whatever-lah!" all the time. But seriously, who could sustain themselves from being hurt when this "thing" cuts this deep? I am ALSO a human... and a helpless 15-year-old girl to be exact. I do feel the same as anyone when I am left out. What's so wrong with me till they won't even care to say "Hi" to me?

If only you could answer this, I would plead you to, dear diary.

Hurtful and lonely,

Plain Jane

The whole lot of pressure!

Dear charmz diary, I'm not trying to kvetch or anything, but this is just too much pressure. If there's one more thing pop up out of nowhere, I will definitely "lose it" you know?!! Actually, I joined the marching team for the last 3 weeks approximately. It was fun before and I kind of enjoy myself with my BFF. But then, as the "real competition" gets closer, I started to feel the tense. Not that I hate it or anything but I'm just a little tired of all those training and practices. It's a good thing for me actually cuz it helps menreduce my weight a little. Yeah that's right... i gained some weight cuz I haven't go cycling for quite a long time. The thing is..I keep trying to lose my weight but, they keep finding me back! Hahaha. Alright. Now back to what I'm trying to explain. Besides all these trainings, I literally found out that my public speaking competition will be held this THURSDAY! I wonder why the teacher didn't inform me earlier cuz I homestly don't memorize a single thing yet and I have less than a week to practice and "perfect" myself. Oh dear... Don't you feel like its too much pressure yourself? I just hope I don't lose it. To make things worse, the teahers keep "pouring" us, students will homework!! We all agree that, we kept trying to finish them everyday but.. Homework just seems infinite! Hurgh... This is so tiring. but I can still take it. (for the time being) and all these oral tests, they just adding pressure to myself. Luckily its still bearable.. Okay charmz, I really think I should go now. I apologise for not writing to you for a long time. I've been definitely busy and my schedule is extremely pack! Okay then. Just pray for me so that I won't lose my temper and get crazy. :D XOXO

One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful

First Term Holiday!

Dear Diary,

Yes, today is the beginning of the first term holidays. I don't know what to do. Haha! I'm just kidding. actually, I've tonnes of homework to finish. But I guess I'm just supremely lazy to start it now. Wonder why.. 

Anyway, yesterday, my family and I went out to Penang, at our favorite shopping mall. I was just wandring around the mall, searching for the shirt that I desire but it was to no avail. And suddenly, when I was walking with my dad and sister (leaving my mom and the rest), I FINALLY found it! It was hanging there, i front of my eyeballs. I let out a MINI-SCREAM and pleaded to have it. At last, my wish was granted! hooray!

I also bought a new scarf and jeans. I'm trying to jazz up my style with some colors and make my wardrobe more colorful. Cuz most of the attire I have is in black. That's because I always say that "black goes with everything" But now I think it's time to make some changes in that perspective. So now, I'm searching for clothes that have patriotic colors of blue, white and red in it. Hahaha! And so as the other rainbow colors.That always cheers my day up!

I want to write more to you, diary but I can't. Time is running up and I'm very busy. What a pack schedule! Isn't it ironic when just a few paragraphs ago I told you "I dunno what to do?" *laughs* Put on your thinking cap and think, diary! 

OK then. Have to leave!

Bye!

XOXO

January 4th 2012, a.k.a WORST DAY EVER!

Argh! My head really ache right now! As I expected, the first day or school sucks!

I don't really know why Charmz, but I kinda feel like I want to be in my former class again! I don't care if people say it's the last class or the "dumbest" class of all. The thing is, I really love that class with all of my classmates way better than this new one. Not that I hate my new classmates or anything! I never said that, once!

I used to sit in a perfect place where I have the perfect view in my old class with my friends Umi Umaira and Swarnaa by my side. We often chit-chat a lot and had so much fun. There might be some time where I can't stand them but, deep inside I know that they are the best partners! They make me laugh whenever I feel bummed and we often had a pack to get somebody! haha!

Well now, my friend Umi has moved to some place far from here. However, Swarnaa is still in the same class as me but she sits in front now while I'm quietly at the back. We can't have those loud conversations that we used to have anymore. And now, my other friend Laksumitha isn't in the same class anymore. She's very funny and likes to talk! No kidding! But, she is a fun girl to be with...

Now I'm in the new class feeling like a freaky mute new-comer and I hate my place. That's cuz I can barely see from there. Another thing is, my partners aren't as fun as last years' any longer. Most of my classmates are very competitive and I feel belittled sometimes. When I was in my old class, I feel very happy to help lots of people around me but now, I feel like standing "below the radar" You get what I mean Charmz?--I hope you do.

Another thing that happened today is that me and my BFF didn't get the chance to eat during recess. There's so many "big people" around that the queue is freaking long like never before. And when we were about to buy something, the food and beverages are almost finished and we can't even find a place to sit!!! That really does sucked!! We were just strolling around the school with a plain bread in our hands talking like idiots!

 I feel like almost everyone wants to bring me down. But I know just what to do.
Lastly, I would like to say..  Dear 2012--Please be nice to me.\

Can't talk much Charmz because I've got some books to read and homework to complete.
Ok then. Buh-bye!
XOXO

ALMOST the first day of school!

Daer Charmz Diary,

Tomorrow is officially the first day of school in 2012 which is on January 4th 2012. I don't know should I feel happy and excited or sad and a bit bummed. Well, I obviously will feel happy tomorrow cuz I could see and my fiends after a long holiday. But on the other hand, will there be anyone who want to be my friend in my new class? Yeah, that's what I'm worried about. They are not actually "new" to me but almost all of us haven't been in the same class before. We just know one another but never a classmate. What if they refuse to be friends with me or talk to me?

But on the bright side, there's no more noisy-makers in my class and no more people to tease me and bring me down. Well, I hope so...

Ok then Charmz. Can't chat for long. Bye now!
XXX