I can't take it

Please, please help me.. I can' take it.

All I feel like doing now is just cry, cry and cry my heart out. I just can' take this much pressure, apparently. Mid-year exam's just around the corner..and at the same time, the Public Speaking competition is also very near. The thing is, I'm not fully prepared for both of it. If I have an option, of course I would choose to sit for my exam. I hate to do an exam paper all by my own, while all of my friends are already enjoying themselves. As any other typical girl and student, I just really hate it!

I don't know but I'm thinking to back out from the competition because I just don't want to humiliate myself in front of the audience with my unprepared condition. And I think I have a better chance to revise and study too if I do such thing. But the only problem now, is my mom gonna let me do so? I sort off doubt that though... She's the one who has been encouraging me all the time about this competition. She keeps saying that it's okay for me to enter this year cuz I'm just in Form 4 and I don't have to sit for SPM yet. But then, I've failed to score good marks in the first exam this year and I don't wanna repeat such thing again. Right after I got my horrible results for UP1, I promised to myself that I'm going to do better for this upcoming exam. I'm gonna try very hard to be in top 3 and I don't wanna disappoint my dad again like I did before... So, should I back down from the competition or not? I'm just beyond confused right now. Help me! I need some advice... 

If I should continue with the competition.. WHY? 

The one suffering,

Fiffy

Bencinya sakit

Hi guys. To be honest, I didn't go to school today. Dari semalam sakit... Demam la, selsema teruk gila, and also sakit tekak. Walaoweyh, bencinya! Kebetulan pulak, today Dania tak pergi sekolah. Haha..Tapi agak best la sebab terlepas from Physics and homework English..Actually tadi baru je lepas bace blog Shahril tadi. Loving the template, or layout or whatever you call it! :)

Writing in my blog, and the time is currently 1.10 am, dated April 25th 2013. I don't actually know why I posted this but I just feel like writing something in my poor blog. Haha. Actually I don't have to tell my friends that I was sick because I know they wouldn't care pun sebenarnya :) Tapi tak pe la.. They're still my friends though. The best of the best ^_^

But somehow, I just wish there would be someone who is willing to know about me and care about my life. Whatever that's going on in my life, I mean. Like how am I doing, asking about my problems, talking about what I'm interested in, always supporting me and etc. But I guess someone like that is really hard to find huh?  But I just WISH there's someone like that. There is one actually.. I mean.. there WAS! Perhaps he's now busy with his.... ahh, I'd rather not talk about that. As a friend, I'm happy for him, anyway :)

Things happen, and you are just never able to change them...

Alright then, I feel like sleeping now. Sorry if I wasted couple minutes of your time to make you read this. Gomenasai! :)

Love,
Fiffy

50 minutes of HYSTERIA

Today? And I only got 50 minutes to prepare?

Wow! The lines above almost lead me to an awful breakdown. It was indeed an unforgettable experience ever! Did I ever mention that my public speaking will be on the 11th of April 2013? Well... I "thought" it was on that very date. BUT, UNFORTUNATELY.. It was on April 2nd (yesterday) and STARTED at 11 am!

The first word that came to my mind is WTF! Yes. I'm just lucky I didn't mention it out loud. So somehow, my teacher had mistakenly read the "invitation" letter that she got few weeks ago. The first thing I was eating gleefully under a shade, and the next thing I know is that my public speaking competition was on that very day and it had already started! When my mom got to know this, she was like Astaghfirullahalazim.. She was indeed speechless and panicked more than I do.

With my pale white face, I immediately rushed to my class and grabbed my stuff to go to the competition. How lucky was I to have brought my last year's speech to school on that very day! Thanks god. So, I decided to talk about the same thing I did last year with a bit of "alteration"! But although I didn't breakdown whatsoever, I realized I need moral support from a friend. And that's when my bestie Dania came to the rescue. She accompanied me to the competition and was constantly asking me to relax and calm down.

"And so the winner is... Nurfiyanti Afrina !"

Oh god! I seriously couldn't believe it at first. Nasib baik la. Kalau tak.... <decided not to spill> Hehehe. Alhamdulillah, all praises to Allah. But ya know what? The prize gets smaller each. The first one I got in form 2 was the biggest. Unexplainable! haha. Tak kisah la.. So I would like to thank few of these people for helping me out in such tragic moments.

-Miss Ooi (The teacher who trained me, although for just awhile)
-Miss Yeoh (The teacher who drove me there and gave some support)
-Dania! (My BESTIE who gave me most support! =D)
-And perhaps a few others, but I just  can't remember lah

I guess I have to practice harder now because the States are just around the corner. So long guys! Take Care!

Love,
Fiffy

Ni je.. Nothing much :)