Allow me to burst!

Dear Diary,

This might sounds rude but I'm going to start it with this... GODDAMN IT! Today is just so stressful. Maybe because my family and I are going to my dad's hometown in Terengganu, which takes a 9-hour drive. It's some bloody hell, isn't it? (I sounded like Ron Weasly, eh?) Honestly saying, although it's quite fun to be there, but there are also cons of going to that hometown of my dad's. Here's why:

1. I don't like the long drive
2. I don't know how to speak with Terengganu dialect
3. I hate when I'm ignored by my OWN FAMILY!
4. I don't have friends who happens to be my age

Besides that, my parents are putting a load on my mind when they are asking me to get all my stuff ready for the so-called holidays, which is going to end this Sunday. Until now, I don't think this "going to Terengganu" thingy is gonna be worth it! 

Second of all, everything is just happening to fast, not giving me even a short break. Just to make it clear, I won't reply any text messages from anyone for the time being, to calm my mind a bit. Well except for my best/close friends. This massive headache I had yesterday might as well gone, but the scar of it in my soul still remains. This would take quite a long time to cure. Now let's just not talk about it okay? 

There's just one thing I want to say, I don't want to keep lies or secrets any longer. (If there is) actually is not even a secret and I didn't lie. I'm just not telling the truth to certain people. And I think it's best for me to be honest. Or else I'm going to regret it in the future, which I certainly want to avoid from happening.

Alright then. Till then, diary.

Love,

Fiffy

My soul needs medication

I should take this if it exist!

Dear Diary,

Actually I don't know what to think right now. I just feel as if my soul is very exhausted and tired. I would like to be "free" again, somehow, like my friends. They're just happy enjoying their life and can do whatever they want to do, without having to keep secrets.. and stuff. I guess it's true of what people say about "this stuff" You know? Sometimes I felt that I've made a fool of myself for letting me dragged into this unrealistic world.

There're just too much conflicts revolving around me. But thank god it happened after the exams, so that I don't have to focus on studies much. Actually I have a friend who's a girl and we called her <insert> because of her annoying behaviour. I don't deny that she's an intelligent girl and one of the top scorers in my school, but she often "brags" about her INTELLIGENCE, which my friends and I found real annoying. But seriously, sometimes I think it'll be okay to be like her. I mean, she concentrates almost 100% in her studies and does not get herself involved in this world (I guess) and look what does that brought her? LOADS OF BENEFITS! I don't say that I want to brag and be such a snob like her, but I'm just extracting the positive values from her, if I ever possibly could.

As much as I want to share this with you, but I'm afraid this information of me expressing myself got into the wrong hands. I think I should just keep this to myself. Anyway, I think that all I want to do now is just sit back, read my novel and have some snack. Yeah I think that's the best way to handle this massive headache. I'm not saying my life is in a misery though but I could use some friendly help. I just can't choose alright! And please don't let me do it. My friends would know what the heck am I talking about this "choosing" stuff. Please don't think negatively, dear diary!

i drove to my mum's clinic to pick up some medicine cuz this major headache is killing me. I don't have any fever, according to my mum who diagnosed my few minutes ago. But then on my way home, my teacher saw me driving a car and for one moment I thought her eyes were going to pop out! Now that's another explanation to give, later on. Haaa.. Perhaps life's "a little" miserable right now. But what the heck, I think I can handle this with some friendly conversation and help.

I should get some rest now, diary. I'll write to you soon, when I'm feeling better.

Love,

Fiffy

R.I.P dear PMR

Dear diary,

     Today, October 15th, is the day where MOST of the Form 3 students will say RIP to PMR. Don’t tell me what PMR is alright? But in case you do not know what it is, it’s actually an “unnecessary” exam for  all 15-year-old Malaysians. Seriously I meanshould they really be making such a huge issue about global warming and struggling on thinking ways on how to sustain the Earth when they are actually wasting tonnes of papers on this exam? No, this is not a joke. We’ll just be losing more and more trees if this keeps on going. (which it will) But it will eventually stop because now the government have a new and “improved” way of evaluating the secondary school students, which is through a “thingy” called PBS. I can’t really understand how it works and absolutely don’t give a damn. No offense though J

     Well, back to what I wanted to say now. I came home today, grinning from ear to ear and was on cloud nine. But I don’t really know exactly why I still don’t feel the “joy” you get it? Anyway, did I mentioned about my friends and I who went to have lunch at KFC? Yeah we did. Even though we still have one last paper to go which is KHB, we felt quite happy walking together and enjoying the meal which includes laughs of joy. My girl friends who joined me were Ika, Dania, Husna and Areena. It was quite amazing. We did plan on going to spend our weekend in Penang too, though. Perhaps go for a movie, have lunch and dinner and maybe go roller-skating too. (I waste most of my time falling though.

     I will definitely come to school tomorrow. Dania told us that she was going to bring a cake and some drinks just for a “minor” celebration. (It’s gonna get noisy) haha! I bet you that we’re going to get scold by a teacher but guess what, who gives a damn? J but unfortunate for a friend of mine, Prishanth  because he still have his last paper tomorrow but it’s going to end early. And he’s quite sick so he can’t get CRAZY as he always was. Hahaha! Dear diary, I wonder what will all of us be doing tomorrow. I don’t doubt that tomorrow’s absentees are going to be numerous. I heard most of my friends who planned, not to come to school tomorrow to express their rebellion or something but honestly, I think being in school is way better where you can chat with friends and laugh all day long, rather than being alone in front of your TV or laptop at home.

     To be honest, there are A LOT of stuff that I’ve been thinking to do after this exam, WAY before it even starts. But now, there are just too much going on in my head that I can’t even choose what my heart desires. But I think I will gradually start on the things that I planned to do for the next few days. Perhaps we all JUST FINISHED the bloody PMR and this freedom is still kind of awkward. Especially for a “friend” of mine which I ain’t going to mention. Actually I’m writing to you right now at 12 in the morning and I feel quite sleepy. But then my mind told me that i might be a waste to sleep early because my friends are probably enjoying their freedom right now. Hahaha! No more burning the midnight oil (for this year) I think I’m going to just talk with my BFF tomorrow and just finish my Harry Potter book Vol.2 –I can’t read much because I have exams! Daa!!  Stop with the laughs or giggles or whatever you’re probably be doing right now!

I think that’s all I can write to you right now, dear diary. I just don’t know what else to say. I promise you that I will keep up to date more often from now on. Have a sweet dream!

(I'LL POST SOME PICS IF MY FRIENDS HAVE SOME, LATER)

Love,

Fiffy  XXX