What a life!

Dear diary,

Hi I'm just back from school. Feeling extra lethargic today although it’s just Friday. Why? Well maybe because my friends and I were scolded by a teacher this morning. Honestly saying, it sort of ruined our “morning cheer mood” you know what I’m saying? But I don’t blame the teacher though because it’s actually our fault for not completing those works he gave few days ago. I thought his period is gonna be at noon and unfortunate for me, it turns out to be this morning. Bummer! Anyways, I’m not here to talk about that today. I’m just here to “complain” about myself. Yeah that’s right. MYSELF.

I don’t know why these days I’m feeling so exhausted and worn out when I get back from school. As if I was running at the field 10 times or something. It truly sucks. I can barely stay up late and burn the midnight oil like I used to do before this. I need to! Or else, I’m going to flunk this major test. (well not exactly flunk) so, do you have any ideas on how to stay awake at night? I know coffee doesn’t work for me. (Dear caffeine: please do your job!) On top of that, I also tried to sleep during the day so that I can stay up late at night and use the time to study. But the result is still negative. I don’t think that method works for me either. But… maybe I’ll just have to sleep a little longer. I’m serious! (Hehe)

Another thing is that there’re just a lot work, worksheets, handouts and etc. given to us the PMR victims. Although I don’t complain about that because I know that we extremely need it. But what I’m just trying to do know is writing to you so I could some sort of release my stress or something. So yeah! J  What’s the most important thing now is to avoid any sort of distraction namely the net, TV and stupid funny videos. (Those are the things I love to do) and I’ve t pay extra attention in class so I’ll always stay in track. Note to self: Come on Fiffy, there’s just one month to go and then I’ll be free!!! Free like a flying bird!!!)

 I guess I’ll have to cut it here for now. Please hope that I’ll still be alive in October. :D

PMR DATE a.k.a. DAY OF DOOM = October 9^th 2012

Yup that's me! xD

Love,

Fiffy

Ramadhan Leaves, Syawal Approaches

Dear Diary,

Firstly, I would like to tell you that I feel so relieved because my PMR trial has just passed. PHEW! That’s a burden off. But I can’t be so excited because there’s another bloody trial next month and the final exam in October. So, my friends and I will get have to study like crazy until we might not remember our own names. Fill our brains with as much knowledge as we can for instance History, Geography etc.

On the other hand, I believe all of the Muslims will be very happy, excited and eager because Eidulfitr’ is just round the corner! It’ll be on this Sunday. I admit that that I am, so!!! So as usual, friends will be talking about the “raya” outfits like shoes, dresses and such. Whereas families will be discussing about what are they gonna eat, where are they gonna go and so on. So diary, I just want to tell you that my raya outfits this year is will be in red, black and floral pink. But the whole family’s theme this year is RED. Yeah that’s right. I’m the one who make the decision! Haha (that sounds kinda cruel, eh?)

We’ll be going to hometown tomorrow and we’re going to stay there for the whole week. But what I’m worried is that my cousins won’t really be socializing with me. Firstly it’s because my age gap with them is quite far. If I ever join their group, I’ll surely be the youngest and they’ll treat me as such. but I ain’t going to let that happen again this year, I’ll show them that I’ve grown up, (well not like an adult!) and I want to follow them when they hangout late at night. Muahaha! Apart from that, I won’t be able to spend the whole week, having fun and going out. I’ve got piles of homework for just one subject. (I’m not gonna say the sub) With pure sarcasm, I say, Thank You SOOO much for the work! (ain’t gonna mention the teacher too) XD

Alright then, I guess I have to help mom to prepare for break fast down there. My mom just ask me to “potong cincau!” walaoweyh!

BYE!  

SALAM EIDUL FITR' 2012

What a jab!!

Dear Diary,

Ouch! my arm is definitely is killing me right now. Why? Well actually, today all of the form 3 students had an injection. Something to do with the tetanus thingy. don't ask me what it is because I definitely have no idea. What I know is that this jab really hurts. But to me, I think that this jab is kind of out of the blue you know. As for all the girls, we had an injection to prevent cervix cancer or something like that. But, the thing is that we were told few weeks before, by a respective teacher. As for this  recent injection, we were just told last week. We didn't got enough time to drill it in our minds that we're gonna have this jab. Some of my friends didn't even have the time to inform their parents about this. Perhaps they just intent to create a surprise for us PMR candidates! -_-

Anyway, it hurts a lot and still hurt. Apart from that, there was a doctor and few nurses who asked us about our health, and we had an eye check. (to make sure our sight is good) Anyway... there's one more thing I would like to tell you and I'm pretty excited about this one. Its....

THE FASTING MONTH OF RAMADHAN AL-MUBARAK!

I'm excited because as this month approaches, it means that we're going to celebrate Eidul Fitr' soon! Awyeah! And I'm really looking forward to that because I bought a really nice red "kebaya" which I'm actually satisfied with.! But the thing is, I still couldn't find the right "hijab" to match with it. I just hope could search for it soon but for now, I don't think so shopping is a good thing to do because every day is just so lethargic and trial exam's round the corner. Besides that, I also like to go to a market called "bazaar Ramadhan" where they sell all kinds of food and beverages! What I'm disappointed with this year is just one thing. That is... There isn't any strawberry ice-blended!! Urgh! Kind of pissed off about that. 

I guess that's all I intent to express, Charmz. Oh yes, and also, I am looking forward to be a nicer girl this month and work my ass off for these DOUBLE trials and big exam. All right then. Bye!

XXX

Plain Jane

Believe in Yourself

Dear Diary,

There are a lot of things going around in my mind lately. But now, I know its time to swipe off everything that’s not related to studying and achieving high marks, until the end of September at least. Lots of “drama” going on and school and to me, I have to hit the pause button for those stuff because the big exam is just round the corner. And the other reason is because I’m getting tired and sick of it. (about friend’s issues and such) It doesn’t benefit anyone and leads to an obvious time wastage.

I was devastated by the recent exam results I got because I don’t really pass them all with flying colors unlike the previous one. I wasn’t mad this time but I’m just really sad and believe it or not, I broke down at school. I just can’t help it. I can’t afford forgiving myself for what just happened. I’m guessing most of this is my own fault for taking it so easily. Well, looking up at couple of my friends who managed to obtain high and good marks, I’m making them as my “motivation” but not idols. I am who I am and I’m not gonna change that. Firstly, to be honest, I was jealous of “those” stuff and I envy them but then, I realized it doesn’t bring any good so I decided to quit doing that. It’s best if I just learn from them and also learn from my mistakes. Just because I fell down, that doesn’t mean I’m just gonna lay on the ground. I’m gonna pull myself back up and get on my feet again. Start the freakin’ engine and start course to “High-Achievement Island” (I know it sounds childish but what the heck!) I will to put my best foot forward and work my ass off. I’m not going to say NEVER. =)

There are times when people tell you that you can’t live your dreams. But this is what I tell you... Never say never! –Justin Bieber

·                 Anyway, congratulations to a senior friend of mine in SMK Bukit Jambul for obtaining the title of national’s best public speaker of 2012 recently. I just got the third in State level but I’m proud of it. J And yes, the best speaker IS from PENANG! (praying to get his spot one day)

Best speakers from each districts of Penang

Top 3 speakers of the state 2012

LOVE,

Fiffy a.k.a. Plain Jane

Dear Diary..Why?

"I can't stand being in a hostel.." The same excuse I've been giving whenever anyone ask the same question. The question is, why won't I stay at the hostel? 

Just to be honest, I don't really have a problem to stay at the hostel (other than the bathroom and meal issues). The only thing that bugs me and I'm afraid of is that the ones who stayed at the hostel refuse to be my friend. I've tried to be humble and friendly towards them, but they just seems... I don't know how to explain it. It's like they've "labeled" me as outsiders and it's impossible for them to make friends with me. I never hate anyone, not even my friends who stay at the hostel. I just wonder why they does that. or, is it actually my own fault? But whenever I tried to be friends, especially in class, they just refuse to give much positive feedback and responses. That puzzles me every time. Do they really CAN'T mix with us, people? Never have in mind saying they're some sort of arrogant people or anything. I seriously don't!

My dad said "I think you should stay at the hostel for few days." But then, I would immediately let out a thunderous scream, refusing to be on the same page as my dad's. Want to know the thing I'm afraid the most before the bathroom and meal issues? It's that I would have not even ONE SINGLE friend. Well, my BFFs seems to get along with them pretty well. Although I hate seeing myself getting left out, most of the time. NO LIE! (Then when I say this, they would apologize then continue doing the same thing after couple days)

I try not to care and bear in mind the word "Whatever-lah!" all the time. But seriously, who could sustain themselves from being hurt when this "thing" cuts this deep? I am ALSO a human... and a helpless 15-year-old girl to be exact. I do feel the same as anyone when I am left out. What's so wrong with me till they won't even care to say "Hi" to me?

If only you could answer this, I would plead you to, dear diary.

Hurtful and lonely,

Plain Jane

The whole lot of pressure!

Dear charmz diary, I'm not trying to kvetch or anything, but this is just too much pressure. If there's one more thing pop up out of nowhere, I will definitely "lose it" you know?!! Actually, I joined the marching team for the last 3 weeks approximately. It was fun before and I kind of enjoy myself with my BFF. But then, as the "real competition" gets closer, I started to feel the tense. Not that I hate it or anything but I'm just a little tired of all those training and practices. It's a good thing for me actually cuz it helps menreduce my weight a little. Yeah that's right... i gained some weight cuz I haven't go cycling for quite a long time. The thing is..I keep trying to lose my weight but, they keep finding me back! Hahaha. Alright. Now back to what I'm trying to explain. Besides all these trainings, I literally found out that my public speaking competition will be held this THURSDAY! I wonder why the teacher didn't inform me earlier cuz I homestly don't memorize a single thing yet and I have less than a week to practice and "perfect" myself. Oh dear... Don't you feel like its too much pressure yourself? I just hope I don't lose it. To make things worse, the teahers keep "pouring" us, students will homework!! We all agree that, we kept trying to finish them everyday but.. Homework just seems infinite! Hurgh... This is so tiring. but I can still take it. (for the time being) and all these oral tests, they just adding pressure to myself. Luckily its still bearable.. Okay charmz, I really think I should go now. I apologise for not writing to you for a long time. I've been definitely busy and my schedule is extremely pack! Okay then. Just pray for me so that I won't lose my temper and get crazy. :D XOXO

One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful