Tear Me Down Like A Paper?

Hey Charmz. It's good to write to you again. I don't know why but I just feel kind of bummed. I really feel like everyone is trying to put me down. I feel ignored and neglected. Sometimes, even my own BFF would talk to another person without telling me. Even they are right in front of my eye balls.!! But I don't really blame her...   (I guess) And what makes me sad is that I'm lacking of friends. They must have look/judge me like I'm some kind or freaky nerd weirdo! Did everything I do is wrong and so bad?

I also often get bugged by my physical appearance. I mean... I'm really short and "plumpy". I hate that! If only the lady, Jillian from the Biggest Loser could come here and "fix" me a little. You know what I mean. Some of my classmates are so mean. They call me names that a person hated to be called. Even my best friend looks me like that. But, I just pretend that I didn't care by laughing my heart out most of the time. I wouldn't go to anyone and say "Hey you. You know that your words hurt me?" cuz I don't want to. But what I really wanted to say is " Hey! stop belittling me and putting me down!" But I didn't dare myself to.

I wish the people who makes me feel small out there could have read this and they could realize what they made.But I'm not saying all of my friends/people hurt me. Just... most of them.

So I guess I'll have to go now Charmz. It's such a relief writing to you this evening.
Have a great day!

Sincerely,
Me...
(feeling down and ignored)

Home Sweet Home ♥

People often says home sweet home and believe it or not, even though you're not living in an enormous mansion, you will feel as if your home is the perfect home in the entire universe. I am not kidding. I'm back from my 4 days 3 nights vacation and although the place where I crashed into is pretty nice, but I still love my own home.

It's pretty exhausting walking here and there and I slept for like just 5 hours a day. My family and I have been walking all day long and both my legs are having an awful cramp and ache. The sultry days were very suckish. But putting that aside, I had a wonderful trip I guess. I'm really bewildered watching many kinds of people walking here and there with some sickly thick clothes just to appear beautiful and outstanding. 

On top of that, it also gives me a headache observing "colorful" people who had come from all around the globe to this overcrowded and busy metropolis. Maybe they are going for the year-end-sale or something I'm not really sure. But anyway, I bought some items that I planned to buy but still didn't get some stuffs that I want. I'm not going to tell you what are they!

Believe it or not, I just ate half of a roasted chicken for two days straight! No kidding! I'm really putting on weight now and trying hard to lose'em fast! Or else, I'll look like a big fat chicken and my friends will make fun of me for sure! (OK maybe not until a "big fat chicken") hahahaha! But, I really love those chickens and I'm determined to roast one exactly like that. You think I can do it? Yeah, I have no clue about that either.

Well, see you next time, Charmz!!

XOXO

Do I belong?

Dear Charmz Diary,

It's me, your best friend. Can I ask you something? Do you think I "belong" in my friends? Well... I just watched a movie called Barbie Mariposa. Now I'm not trying to prove or show you that I'm rather childish for a 14 year old girl. But, in that movie, Mariposa exclaimed that she felt like she don't belong in the place where she lives which is called Flutterfield. And.. when I look back, I don't feel like I belong in my "place" too. I mean, I have the least friends among my friends. Yeah, No kidding! I often feel ignore and being left out just because I don't like things that they like and they don't fancy stuff that I find interesting. Is that my fault? One of my friends told me that I don't have to care what they like and the only thing I've to do is just be myself. I know that's the best thing to do but it's kinda hard though. Sitting in a territory where no one seems to get what you're trying to say...

I really like those kinda songs like''skyscraper'', "who's laughing now" and "Lala land" by some various inspiring singers. Those words are so much alike to my situation. Those songs are about a person who doesn't feel belong in their own spaces. In the Barbie Mariposa movie, Mariposa succeeded in saving her land Flutterfield and right after that, she always feel belong...Should I save "my land" to feel belong too? I don't think so...

But now, I'm thinking, "screw these people" I know what I like and I'm not going to pretend to like something that I don't just so that I could feel belong and fit it. I want to be ME! And no one can ever tell me to be someone who I'm not. I still have friends who enjoys the same stuffs as me. Wherever I go, I know that my friends will always be there beside me...

I guess I've said what I really wanna say, dear Charmz...
So, goodbye for now!
XXX

Last Day of Torture! PEACE OUT

Why last day a torture? Wondering what's the definition of it?

Haha! In this case, what I actually mean is "The Last Day of School". The school days in 2010 kinda sucked and 2011 has improved a bit. Not much anyway. So now, it's officially end of school for year 2011. So, very, glad that it has finally come to an end.

By the way, me and couple of my friends planned to have ANOTHER "ice fight" today. One of them even willing to sponsor a bag of ice. (yeah my friends are crazy) But then, we realized that we don't have much time and some of the teachers ACTUALLY entered the class. What a bummer! But, we did take couple of photos before the bell rings. I figured out that I might miss some of my classmates later on because next year, not all of us will be in the same class. Sad right?

Well, whatever. Now that holiday is official on, it's time for me to sleep late and watch all the movies and videos I want! YAY! But on the other hand, I also have tonnes to complete by the end of this year. I'm going to face one of the biggest exams next year, you know? (yeah it's unbelievable!!) But I'm still gonna enjoy my looong holiday, anyway.

My buddies and I are planning to go somewhere but we haven't decide yet. Just waiting for all the answers.
Ok then. I guess this is goodbye Charmz!
XXX

Ice fight!!!

"Ready? FIRE!!!!"

Hey yaw!! It's me again. Who else could it be? Hahaha! Wondering why my post title sounds kind of weird? Well of course it is. It's one of the best part in the year 2011 for my classmates and I!!

Today, my friends and I planned to have a YEAR-END PARTY 2011 for our class.  We had to pay a few bucks which to me is no big deal. However, there are some of them who "refuse" to pay it. I don't understand these people..By the way, there's barely enough food at the party cuz of them. Our class teacher joined us too and she thanked us for planning all of this and for the such wonderful meal. 

But out of the blue, something hit me on my waist. I found out it was a cold, hard ice. I didn't shout out loud although I'm supposed to do so. I just laughed and turned around. My class monitor ordered us to stop doing that and stay calm. But then, I announced "Ah, what the heck! School's almost over! So, ICE FIGHT!!!!" I think I was kind of the "mastermind" in this. We all started to grab a hand full of ice cubes and tossing them to one another. They secretly gathered at the back of the class without telling me and then, they threw a bunch of hard ice on me!! I was alone at the front, getting hit, HARD! (mean) xD

It was an utter chaos. By the way, one teacher reported the "mess" to our class teacher and then, we all got scold by her. I was sitting in my seat, SHRINKING slowly in shame. But.... Screw them all! It was totally fun. I had a video of it in my camera. wow! It was extremely fun, even after got scold by the teacher. HAHAHAHA!!!

So I guess that's all that happened at the party bash! i'm so gonna miss my classmates. Well, maybe not all of them..
One last word..

2 HARMONI 2011 ROCKS!!! (that was written on the cake)

Bye then Miss Charmz
XXXX

Nov 1st, a beautiful day

Hey Hey Hey!!!

Happy birthday to you,
You live in a zoo,
You look like a monkey,
And you smell like one too!

 Haha. I sounded like one of those penguins of Madagascar already. My BFF's used to sing that when it's one of our birthdays. But  know, they aren't here anymore. SAD. Anyway, know why I'm excited, Charmz? Cuz it's Nov 1st 2011 today and that means it's officially my 14th BIRTHDAY! You didn't give me any presents, Charmz? Hahaha. Just kidding. You're a diary, you can't give presents, I know. Still not insane here!

By the way, I would just like to tell you that I had quite lot of fun today at school. I brought a chocolate cake to school and my friends and I shared it. My pals gave me gifts too. (Thanks guys!) We just chit-chat a lot and laughing non-stop. Hilarious! One of my friends treat me for such a wonderful meal too, after school. In class, we played several games like UNO cards, Truth or Dare and others. There's this one thing that me and a friend of mine like to do. It's grabbing any recycled newspapers that have pictures in it, and make a funny dialogue about it. Then we'll switch. LOVE DOING THAT!

MY PALS:

• Zulaikha (BFF)
• Husna (BFF)
• Umi
• Swarnaa
• Laksumitha
• Prishanth

Unfortunately, it rained cats and dogs when I arrived home. Such a BUMMER! But, I got to watch the new episodes of "Victorious" Well at least that cheered me up. Then, my sisters and mom gave me some prez. Thanks!

And did I mentioned that the radio DJ's were talking about the special date 1/11/11 early in the morning? Well they did. Felt happy! (Justin Bieber-Mistletoe is also out today!)

I guess that's all that happened on this beautiful day for me. Waiting for the present from my dad.
Bye Charmz!
XXX

Torture's Over, Let the Freedom Begin!

"Burning the midnight oil is just every students' hobby..."

I kept saying and repeating that word for about 2 weeks past. There's an important final exam before and I had to study and revise all the stuff that teacher told me, very hard. There's a reward for every success..
But now guess what? The finals are over! As I said in the main title: Torture's over and let the freedom begin. I believe that every student of my age in my school, felt very relieved and delighted with this, so am I. There's no more books to study and no more midnight oil to burn!

But, despite of all the enjoyment, I found that doing absolutely nothing is just like living in a whole world of boredom. I have to think of something to fill up my leisure time. So, I decided to learn new recipes and do some studies on stuffs I like such as.. CHEMISTRY! I heard that this subject is quite hard so, I believe that there's nothing wrong of learning it early, isn't it? OK, let's close the story about Chemistry and move on to another.


On the other hand, I would also like to create and finish my short story that my friends and I created. It all started on that boring day of no teachers. An idea just popped out of my mind so I gathered up few of my friends and tell them about my idea. They said that it was brilliant indeed. I'm so happy and without wasting more time, I grabbed my notebook with a pen and started on our story.


So, I guess that's all I can tell about how glad I am after finals. Till then!
Bye Charmz!
XX